They Tried to Make Tzena a Whore

The Universe is talking to me again, this time through a bit of fourth-grade fluffy folk music. Does anyone else remember good ol’ bashful Tzena? Here’s a sampling of the lyrics:

“Tzena, Tzena, Tzena,
don’t you know that you’re the darling of the regiment?
Tzena, Tzena, Tzena,
All the soldiers want to kiss you,
Why don’t you consent?

See the handsome soldiers gaily riding,
Come out from wherever you are hiding.
Won’t you smile a little for the Colonel;
Throw some kisses to the rest.

Tzena, Tzena — bashful little Tzena,
Please don’t be afraid of all the soldier boys, oh,
Tzena, Tzena — all the boys adore you,
Calling for you,
Tzena, Tzena, Tzena!”

Aside from whatever it is the big U is trying to convey by allowing this to play ad infinitum through my head, I am disturbed beacuse it occurs to me more than 20 years later that this is a song of attempted gang-banging. (I was gonna say “seduction” but come on — “Come out from wherever you are hiding”? Let’s call a spade a spade.)

Just what the hell was my school system trying to convey? No wonder little girls all want to dress like whores (although I blame Britney Spears and Paris Hilton for that as well. Oh, and if you haven’t seen South Park’s “Stupid Spoiled Whore” episode all about Paris, put it on your must-see list. That episode should win an Emmy!)

Something else I find disturbing — that I recall that much of the song today. See what an impression that stuff makes?

Now if only I could figure out what the hell it’s supposed to mean…