I Can't Get No Satisfaction

Was having a conversation with a good friend the other day about the difference between happiness and satisfaction. Satisfaction, we decided, had everything to do with those things over which we actually have control. Case in point (and you probably see where I'm going with this), I'm satisfied with the work we did on The Long Black Veil. When I look at the end result (the actual manuscript, I mean), I can honestly say, we did the best we could. And I think our best was pretty good.

And yet... I'm not happy. Therein lies the difference, or so my friend and I decided: happiness isn't quantifiable, isn't directly attached to any one thing, isn't necessarily achievable. In the course of the conversation I suggested I had never been happy, but that's not quite true, either. Music can make me ridiculously ecstatic, or a good line in a book, or a hundred other small things I'm often too busy to fully acknowledge. But happiness is elusive. And I hate being out of control.

It's been kind of a strange day.