Catch-22

So I'm standing in line this morning outside the local housing assistance organization, hat in hand (yes, that's figurative) to see if I can get some money through their grant program to fix my crappy shower. (Note to potential homeowners --- make sure the tile in your bathroom is waterproof. I know you're thinking, "Who the hell would put in acrylic, non-waterproof tile in a frigging shower?!" Trust me: it happens.) The line is long --- more people than I've ever even noticed in my neighborhood, but then, I don't get outside much. The organization building is both in one of the worst areas of the neighborhood and surrounded by construction: street torn up, sidewalks closed, parking areas diminished. Most of those waiting have parked across the street in the Popeye's Restaurant, which is currently closed, seeing as how even the most diehard fan of their chicken (think Adam Sandler in Little Nicky -- "Popeye's Chicken is fucking awesome!") probably doesn't want it at 9 a.m.

But apparently somebody's manning the fryer this morning, because after we've stood in line for a while, a tow truck pulls into good ol' Popeye's and I watch half the line blanche. Now me, I got dropped off, so theoretically it's no skin off my ass watching some old guy get his car towed, but for chrissake, nobody's using that parking lot right now. If it was 11 and filling with a lunch crowd, that's one thing, but come on, Popeye's --- you can spare a few spaces for an hour or so. And the old man just looks terrified as he runs across the street, bobbing and weaving through traffic, looking like he's gonna have a heart attack if the tow truck guy gets his shitty car hooked up before he can stop him.

Thank God the milk of human kindness flows among us po' folk --- everyone who has to run across and move their car is rightfully returned to the spot they staked out originally, even and especially the old guy. But what the hell kinda world is this anyway?

Screw Popeye's. I'll make my own chicken.

Of course, if I was really nice, I'd take some to the old man too.

But I never claimed to be nice.